So, last night I was sitting at a coffee shop at what I have been told is the windiest spot in Jerusalem. It sits at the high point of a street that I often use and whose name I still cannot pronounce. I sat at this new spot to listen to live music being performed by two gentlemen with guitars sitting just outside the shop where the majority of the seating exists, taking advantage of the almost year-round good weather. They were singing some local stuff, some Simon and Garfunkel, and some Pink Floyd, all with heavy Israeli accents. It was awesome. Together we were all just enjoying another pleasant evening, and wind. I had just thanked the waitress in my broken Hebrew for bringing me a second round and a smoke, because I was still thirsty and have not quite quit yet, when I thought about how seemingly easy, but possibly complicated it might be to say ‘thank you.’
My first thought was how we should always say thank you and we should always say it from a deeper place. We should recognize when people do things for us, especially when they do anything more than a bad job and sometimes when they do a bad job if that is the best they could do. (Yes, I thanked the musicians, even though the accents were at times comical). Sometimes good enough is good enough to get a thank you, a genuine thank you maybe even with a little smile to show that the appreciation goes a little deeper than just words. But then, I realized how difficult it could be to thank everyone who deserves thanks.
There are people whom we share our paths with, even if just for a little while, who deserve to be thanked. The ones who we learned from, people who through example, either good or bad, made us better. People, who we loved or still love, as if that word when truly felt has a past tense, will always deserve our thanks. And, even those that we hate or are angry with (which can sometimes be those we love, or loved, or whatever, emotions are so confusing) deserve our thanks. Our experiences with each other, seemingly good or bad, become a part of us. We should be thankful that we have this opportunity to grow and we should be cognizant of the impressions we leave upon others. However, it’s not always easy to say thank you even to those we love and especially to those to whom our feelings run contrary to that emotion.
I guess I am writing this to thank them all, everyone who has shared my path to this point and to those who will. I want to thank the people that I care about and especially those who would rather not care about me as I ask them not to waste the energy. I will spend plenty of time not caring about me on my own. I want to thank the people that I have disappointed and those I have hurt. Thank you for caring enough about me to allow yourselves to be disappointed and hurt and do not waste the energy. I will spend plenty of time being disappointed with and hurting myself. I am sorry if I did not say it and even if I did, I am sorry. And, to the hand full of people who for whatever reasons I choose to waste energy not liking, thank you (OK, maybe not all of you).
Well, I got to cut this short today. It’s been a bit of a heavy day and I still forget that here, in J Town, a shot is a double. What I meant to ask for was a chaser. And, that reminds me, to those who worry about me, thanks, and I am cutting back. That being said, since I am calling it an early night, I think I will have another shot.
Thanks for stopping by.
Friday, August 1, 2014